Tuesday, January 11, 2011


Today I decided to carry on the conversation taking place on another blog, RA Warrior.  Many people diagnosed with a chronic illness like RA suffer from feeling of guilt due to their disease.  This guilt usually stems from feelings of not being productive enough in their lives, and letting down children, spouses and friends.

Of course, logically we know that this disease is not our fault.  But society has set a standard that we have to live up to, and having RA means that rarely can we make the grade.  It is very frustrating to go from being a successful business woman, active mother and prize winning athlete to needing a disabled parking badge to do the weekly grocery shopping.

Those both living with a chronic illness and friends and family supporting them should ask a simple question of themselves.  Did we (or they) ask for this disease?  Of course not!  So why should you feel guilty?  Or why should you make someone you love feel guilty?  If you were diagnosed with cancer would you feel guilty?  Sad, angry, frustrated and frightened, perhaps.  

Do I feel guilty about having RA?  No, not really.  The further down this road I travel, the less guilt I feel.  Being made to feel guilty by my family and friends is what I battle against everyday.  Almost from the first I have had to defend myself with statements like "This is not my fault" or "I didn't ask for this".
I feel frustration that I can not achieve the things I want to achieve and anger that all my plans for the future are not possible.

My real friends understand, whether they have RA or not.  Allot of the anger expressed by those who do not is frustration on their part, and something they will have to come to terms with, or walk away.

I say to myself a hundred times a day....I'll do what I can, and what doesn't get done, oh well, maybe
tomorrow will be better.

Love and guilt free days to you all...


  1. Thank you Molly...I will work on more guilt free days!